Whod you bang
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
captain&coke to the library. STAT. this is an emergency. this is not a drill. I repeat: THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
Bartender at the wedding asked if he was making my drinks too strong. I laughed at him.
BTW the amount of schmoozing I am doing towards some guy for an ID that may or may not look like you... You better love me.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I want to get back to junior year skinny- without all the drugs.
He's thawing a cheesecake on his stomach. We're that high.
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Randomize
