i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
turns out making maccaroni and cheese with whipped cream instead of butter is only good when your high
I wish they had an "I'm Stoned" genre on online Netflix
I took the precaution of putting my macbook the one place in the dorm there is no way i can piss on it... the toilet
I just ate a fried snickers. I now officially accept all fat jokes
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I have a story for you. It involves waffles and getting naked with the local weatherman.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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