you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
The make-up sex just reminded me why we broke up in the first place.
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
I think as a general rule I have to have blacked out somewhere at least twice to be comfortable.
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Her four year old daughter walked up to me grabbed my junk and said "this will be in mommy later." Wtf?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
Randomize
