I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
So you refered to him as "monster dick"...not so much
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
It's a good deal. He teaches me how to longboard, then we have sex
My dick was out way too much saturday not to get laid
we found her in my closet eating a clove of garlic.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
I was barred out and drunk as fuck locked out at 3am in my Indian costume. It was literally freezing outside. I laid down on the concrete and made a bonfire with dry leaves. Then proceeded to ask.the.bonfire nicely to "please dont go out". Drunk me went strait up survival mode.
Before we fucked we both mutually agreed not to tweet about it.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
