omg, he ripped it...he ripped my vagina...best. night. ever.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
he is allergic to cats. we can only glue dog hair on him. otherwise he might die and i dont want to be responsible for that.
ahaha ok
let's call it "werewolfing"
We don't have sex anymore. We both agree that the olympics are more important to watch. All day. Also i don't look good compared to the athletes...
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
Hows cali? I thought of you as I shaved 1/4 of my legs last night.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
you said, 'he held out his hand, that means we don't have to pay' about the taxi driver, and then asked the doorman what happened to your pants...
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
So, Kevin dropping me off at urgent care. Seems my tampon slipped out of reach. Even after he tried to get it out with some kitchen tongs.
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
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