I would do horrible things to your vagina.
Prove it.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I'm driving while wearing hulk hands
Apparently I missed the "You may have to jack off a horse" part of the application.
I'm stuck in a tree and request your assistance ASAP
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
I would also like you to tell your human bio class that I successfully smoked out the flu. 103 degree when I woke up yesterday. 100degree after one bowl. 4 more bowls and 16 hours later all that's left is a cough
No we didn't talk. I was high and doing naked yoga in the living room when she walked in so it was just awkward. I didn't even know my dad had a girlfriend.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
