from now on, im only gona ahve sex with my boyfriend.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
Dude just fell down the stars trying to leave class early, the prof just looks down at him and says"thats what you get"
All I can tell you is you will need a rain slicker for tonight's festivities. Any clothes underneath would be highly frowned upon as well.
So i'm in a museum and theres a punch bowl from 1765 with a picture of 3 men forcing the 4th to drink the punch bowl. Colonial hazing
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
I'm still a bit day drunk and decided to go for a run. You may get a snapchat of me vomiting soon
I did cocaine with my cab driver all night. It was the best date.
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
I just made myself 3 peanut butter sammies because I was too hungry to watch porn
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