Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
You hooked up with a kindergarten teacher?
Yea. It's kind of weird knowing that there are kindergarten teachers out there with their nipples pierced.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
The black hole just entered the party man, I can literally see guys starting to move towards her.
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
What's the procedure for answering a booty call from someone under house arrest?
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
Tequila should only be paired with the finest of dick
If he brings home bacon, dont let him leave. Dont screw this one up. this may be our last chance.
Randomize
