I showed him my bush... on skype.
someone just puked in the library. they put up caution tape. i totally underestimated finals week.
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
After he convinced me that my friend had died and come back to life, I decided I was having sex with him that night, and that I should lay off the drugs for a while.
I have too much pride to pick his chest hair out of my mouth again
Running into your random closeted hookup from last night is really awkward when you have to sit next to him and his girlfriend in a 200 person class.
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
SINCE WHEN WAS USING A FROZEN WATER BOTTLE ATTACHED TO A ROPE AS A THROWING WEAPON A GOOD IDEA??
Can't trust a bar that doesn't have fireball
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize