I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
We got so high yesterday we tried watching soccer
I'll keep you from getting pregnant and you keep my papers gramaticallly correct
I just found a piece of glass in my ear from Saturday.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
Yesterday you said I was the best.
No. I said you DID your best. There's a huge difference.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
he was like tryna hang and chat and I was like dude there's an iguana in this room
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
