I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
you know that saying beer then liquer makes you sicker, it should be beer then pickles makes you throw up alot, everywhere.
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
You don't know scared until you've just begun the first stage of an acid trip till a guy on stilts with a creepy mustache and beard says "enter the Forrest"
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
I pour the whiskey from now on
He hand fed me trail mix then I watched the video of me the next morning. He was actually feeding me meow mix.....that drunk. I still have no regrets marrying him
Hungover on St. Patrick's Day. I did this backwards.
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
