There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
She just cut the six pack plastic up and screamed "save the dolphins"..she also threw away cans of tuna. I like this girl.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
Im shooting goldshlager and waxing my crotch
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
I don't know, all I remember is waking up at 4 in the morning to him going down on me.
Randomize
