just spent all of my last class as a college student, vomiting in the bathroom. its moments like these i will cherish
I just used celery as a chaser. That's the level of my refrigerator.
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
A guy at one of our big accounts just said you probably dont remember meeting me saturday night ps you were right about those two girls being lesbian
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
Just found out that his ringtone for me is a train blowing bc and I quote 'I know when you call I'm getting laid'
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Are these your boobs on my camera?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Best night if my life? Time I got eaten out in the backseat of a M5 while eating White Castle. Then he fucked me. Perfect
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