so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
he told me i looked like an animal then proceeded to kiss me
it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
Scored tix to flower show. Do we want to go drunk on Saturday or hungover on Sunday? Only two options.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Sext me about skeletons
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
Juice tastes so weird without alcohol
I just want to get high and watch Dr. Pimple Popper.
Randomize
