yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Sam from lord of the rings is 10 yards away from me, i am creaming myself.
Been drinkin since 3, wearing a tutu, how could things go wrong
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
I just want you to know that i just realized your the only friend i dont feel fat around.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Yup. We're now banned from TWO of our nation's finest zoos.
They were so big her bra clasped in the front. Didn't even know those existed.
I'm trying to be all porn star and he's making it all The Notebook
This is the fifth time tonight that girl has taken off my pants. Take me home. Now.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
Are those your contacts stuck to the mirror?!
Yeah. Drunk me tried to put my contacts on the mirror where my eyes were.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
