You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
doing lines of blow through a tampon applicator in the study lounge at 7am so i can finish an italian composition that was due a week and a half ago...such a good student.
If our dicks could shake hands in congratulations they would
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
You made everyone who was on the patio sit on the floor and join your "ship" because you were the Captain. It was cool though. You let me be your 1st Mate.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I can't leave your house without my underwear spending the night.
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Lol I think I might have been a little aggressive last night there is a blue ass print from your jeans on my wall
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
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