You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
It was like getting head from an anaconda
Hate the very realistic pregnancy dreams. Like my dream when I birthed the pirate ships. SO REAL...
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I asked her to make me water, which in turn meant get me a glass. She handed me a cup of microwaved ice cubes.
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
