take it from a girl who woke up with a girl in her bed... you were not that drunk.
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Just retrieve me from the bathroom floor when you're done
getting busted for public urination is like, a step above j-walking. you'll be fine
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
Drunk you decided to patrol campus as the Arrow and tell random bystanders "YOU HAVE FAILED THIS CAMPUS." Campus P.D. did not join your crusade.
That explains the nerd bow & arrow...
I'm honestly just saving all my liver's power for when I die this weekend. that's how it works right
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
