his text ended with ... everyone knows dot dot dot equals infer sexy time
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
I don't question myself. That's what I have you for.
I'm honored.
He told me to prepare for his "Jurassic cock" and I had to leave the room from laughing.
We played table tennis, but used tv remotes taped to our foreheads instead of paddles. Every time your opponent scored you took a shot. I'm the current champion as of last night.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
I told you that you couldn’t eat fifty tacos, you slapped me in the face, ate seventeen tacos, and fell asleep on my floor
You like that 95% of the time I masterbate I think bout you?
Just wanna know what I can I do to earn the other 5%
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Randomize
