A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
Then he rubbed shampoo all over my arm and shouted, "Garnier FUCK THIS."
I feel like they've probably fucked. Like.. you don't just bring a bitch a Big Mac if you haven't fucked her.
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
Steve, that episode of cops where your dealer rear-ended that family is on again.
He dislocated his shoulder trying to finger me last night if that tells you anything
I think the best course of action at this point is to cut his balls off to get him to stop reproducing
He literally had a Trump sign in his front yard. I just can't now.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
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