and when i screamed you came in my eye, i found out that everyone else in the room had only pretneded to be sleeping
There's 12 honey baked hams in my fridge. I vaguely recalled you organizing a "Midnight Ham Run."
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
I just sent her mug shot out in a mass text because I hate her and her cocaine eyes are hilarious.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
THEY AREN'T MARRIED. PUT ON YOUR HOMEWRECKING PANTIES AND GET TO WORK. NO EXCUSES.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
The last thing I remember is singing hotel California with a hobo and asking every bald man I saw if I could touch his head.
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He said he wanted to lick the breadcrumbs off my chest
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Dude no i feel my liver disintegrating
Randomize
