im ready to get crazy and take my wig off
a pedometer??? no beatles?Steve jobs just took a dump in CA and it landed on my heart
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Sex on the trampoline with your two best friends cheering you on: PRICELESS.
It's routine now. He comes home from work and i ride him like a cowgirl with only a few sips of wine. I love being his neighbor.
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
