like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
i just kept saying he was red & i was blue and we couldnt become purple. I started crying at one point
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
I think it's a friendship ring and the other part is on his cats collar
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
I'm waiting at the bar and am surrounded by unattractive women.
You need to get here and rebalance this disturbance in the force.
In other news I have discovered that grindr is the easiest way to get free meals
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
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