separated laundry into 'got laid' and 'didn't get laid' piles.
woke up this morning in the hall outside of my parents room with a sign taped to myself that said "im sorry"...
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
No one parties like Jon. He once stole a cops hat, ran like the wind, partied all night with it, and dropped it off at the station the next day with a box of donuts as an appology.
I doubt she'll sponsor it. You know alcohol and fireworks don't mix, right?
It's okay. We're not going to soak the fireworks in alcohol. The alcohol is for drinking.
Is it inception if it feels like another uterus is going to burst out of my current uterus?
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
Son of a bitch took my liquid eyeliner
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
He tried to get me to go back to his place on the condition that he has 6 cats. I was very tempted but I said no. Hoping to go see the cats tomorrow
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
Randomize
