I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
its likemy ribs anf my hesrt aew cuddlingn
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Fuck that. I will get OUT of CONTROL And rise from a hangover on Sunday like Jesus himself.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
eating chex mix on the couch when he walks in naked and asks how he looks. are you shitting me.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
I hope I don't have to wait for another triple crown winner to get laid again.
I believe in your delicious
NOBODY TALKS SHIT ABOUT PANDA EXPRESS
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
So... he's my second cousin's step-bro... To do or not to do?
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