this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
Are you trying to threaten my boobs?
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
Had a speaker in class today. She asked whats the first question when you see someone pregnant. I said whos the father? She was looking for "is it a boy or a girl?"
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
What's worse: not calling my parents in Dallas to make sure they're alright or not taking shelter to masturbate all over my douchebag roommates clothes?
I worry about you.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
How's my date look?
Like a retarded elf
In a good way
My philosophy professor just told the class that he is suspicious of dolphins. The stoner in front of me totally gets it. I need to start getting high for this class.
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
It took like and hour to get him in me and then he came in like 2min. Size aint everything
I woke up with eight different shoes in my bed what the hell happened last night
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
