What should our trivia night team be named?
Define Statutory
the best part was when he threw his debit card on the table, looked at everyone and said "turn this into pizza!" It felt like a scene in a 'coming of age' teen comedy.
i'm watching the draft and making cookies. how am i still single?
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
No, we will not be going out tonight. We are trying to grow the toy donkey in whiskey rather than water. Serious fucking science. Have fun at the boring bar while we Bill Nye it up in this bitch.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
What is my life coming to that I have to cross state lines to get laid?
you walked 30 min all the way back to the dorms at 2am?
i was more bummed that i dropped all my skittles.
You can make out without kissing
Explanation needed
That 2-CB was ass.
You mean the asprin cut with pez?
Randomize
