the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
Then my mouth guard fell out of the hole, so that's how the dog poop got in my mouth.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Today I learned I and my bar naps were the subject of a bar meeting.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
You went outside, peed in the front yard, and asked me to bring you some toilet paper.
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Randomize
