Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
hypothetically speaking is slutty or smart to buy plan b before we go on spring break so i dont have to get it in mexico
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
He got thrown out for leaning over the bar topless and pouring himself some beer while singing the james bond song
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
just like fucking own it. stare that cop in the eye and just keep masturbating "yeah motherfucker Im high as shit and this feels great"
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
