the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
Isn't that the only thing she's good at? Complaining and blow jobs?
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I'm practically paying him in tacos to have sex with me.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Listen all we did was not even pretend we aren’t each other’s type and live together and constantly encourage each other to get laid for 6 months.
Idk how it devolved into us fucking.
I woke up with a treasure map drawn on my ass. Whattt.
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
Randomize
