Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
he shaved USA in his pubs
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
Your wedding's just one more day in my life I can't wear sweat pants.
I'm not as easy in Europe as I am in the US
Only because you can wipe your slut slate clean & start anew. It's a little known benefit of our currency exchange.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
it is a dangerous dangerous place where morals and dignity go to die and all your fantasies about men become reality.
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I woke up and my backpack was empty. He used me for sex, and back to school supplies.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize