Today at work while talking to my co-worker we both realized at the same time that last year I had a one night stand with his roommate and he was in the living room drinking coffee when I did the walk of shame. YAY.
Best walk of shame ever - Brown Hennesy shirt, bright blue overly large basketball shorts, stilettos from night before - ended up buying a ton of 40's and a 30 pack of coors.
Where are you?
A place I should not be.
I'm on a mission to free the leash kids. Like liberating the Israelites from Egypt. Only better.
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
You may or may not have poured bacon fat down her shirt
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
It's gay softball weekend. Lots of hot gay strangers to go home with.
Next think I knew I was pretty much using his penis as a microphone... No more playing Eminem during hookups
i just realized... if i ever hook up with someone on my bed, we'll be fucking atop my animated batman themed bedset.
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I can't possibly be the only person who has ever eaten Cheetos with a spoon to avoid the powder getting in my fingers
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
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