question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
Just walk through the Honors dorm on a Saturday night. You'll feel better about yourself.
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
my host sister just stared at me as i knocked over the lamp, then took out all my chocolate, walked into the bathroom, and locked the door. i'm officially the worst exchange student ever.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I have the perfect view of a sexy blonde in yoga pants stretching from the shoulder press machine. I'll be here all night. So glad I came high.
Ur here with me in spirit. Now run free. Run free
Does it count as working out if stops are taken every half hour to smoke a blunt?
I'm gonna snort this pill I found on the ground cause that's how classy I am. Watch football and eat Beef jerky. Domesticated at its finest.
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I made an executive decision to rename my Resume file to something other than MONEYMONEYMONEY.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
My mum just told me to stop being so pathetic and just find someone to have sex with, even if I don't like them, just be grateful for the sex. Wow.
Don't get mad at me now, you have my car and all the doughnuts
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