i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Did I show you my penis last night?
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
He didn't have much of a personality. But I had like 100 orgasms, so that's cool.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
My mom just asked me about the teeth marks on my headboard..
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
This may be the most redneck thing I've ever said, but I know all there is to know about farting dogs
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