She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
woke up next to her writing my name in some journal. apparently she makes every guy she hooks up with sign out.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
I think the last straw was when you put on ice skates to go across the waxed wooden floor.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I am the fucking FIFTH wheel. How do you think it's going?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
If you shit your pants and not say anything about it right before we have sex one more time I'm dumping you.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
Randomize
