no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
the girls im babysitting are trying to see how much jello they can swallow without chewing...their future boyfriends are lucky
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
I just realized his fb pic was taken in a public bathroom.
My vagina is depressed thinking about her future.
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
If you need us, Zoe and I will be on my kitchen floor drinking Gatorade and crying
OH MY GOD! I CAN FEEL A PULSE IN MY BALLS IT HURTS! ITS LIKE MINI FEMINIST NINJAS ARE ATTACKING MY BALLS!!!
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
So yeah, my old kindergarten teacher just asked me who gave me the hickies on me neck.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
just got back. in my inebriated state i broke an ugly lamp and was sent to the store (still drunk) to get a new one. just spent last half hour in isle 3 of dollar general surounded by more ugly lamps and trying not to throw up on each and every single one.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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