Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
was stoked on phone sex until he started reciting lines from star wars
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
Met the five year old's gym teacher for next year. He is an old drinking buddy and I used to fuck his older brother. It was like a walk of shame 20 years late.
The cab driver told me he hopes I look up to him as a father figure. Then he asked if I wanted him to take me to the hospital
dude all you wanted to do was sleep under a bridge
Dude, you face planted, there was no "bar fight".
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Me and mom just bonded over our mutual desire to bang Mark Ruffalo. I'm not sure how to feel about this.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
