his dick is like his red hair, amazing but useless
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
It was like giving head to a cactus.
Clearly the ONLY reason why you were voted employee of the month is because of your upside-down beer funneling skills.
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
The only things in my fridge are almond milk, Smirnoff Ice and chicken noodle soup. I'd say I've done mama proud.
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
Owwww. A manager/ employee sex scandal that DOES NOT involve me! SCORE!!!
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
Remember that pair of super cute shorts I pooped in? I miss those 😔
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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