What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
Dude you just kept yelling "She was my first asain!" right in front of her.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
The cop only confirmed I'm .22% Irish. Then I threw up on him.
I could seriously attempt to try and saw my head in half with a butter knife cause im pretty sure it could not hurt any more than it already does
I found your bra. How you get it off the satellite dish is your problem.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
He forehead kissed me AND THEN asked what I was thinking. I'm taking away his man card.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I just realized u compared me to a coconut
Randomize
