Call me Kermit cause I'm about to go piggin
i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
update. expensive tequila only makes the mistakes more expensive.
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
Can we put your name for the shipping address for penis ice luge?
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
Last night you made me help you pick the raisins out of a kashi bar and acted like it was the most important thing to ever happen to you or our friendship
I support your vibrator fueled lifestyle.
I had to pee so bad that I snuck into the bathroom while they were in the shower. At her request, he was massaging her boobs so they could grow faster. Also there was a laser light machine.
Randomize
