I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
Wrapped in a blanket, just ate a whole party pizza. All my dreams are coming true and you don't even care.
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
You know you're in the hamptons when it's 10pm And you kind of want to vomit white wine on rug that costs more than your apartment.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
Literally sucked a dick for ten seconds before I said to myself, this tiny ass penis isn't worth it. My night last night
Every guy I've ever fucked is single right now
Pray for me
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Randomize
