We got bored. So we went to planned parenthood to stare at everyone who made worse decisions than us last night.
Dude we need to petition the city about running buses later, none of my booty calls own cars
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
you force-fed me gummy vitamins while screaming "I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HEALTHY" i have never been so terrified in my life.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
I just called my boyfriend "Dad"... Awkward
You caught me at a bad time. I'm stoned enough that I'm ready to sleep but also not stoned enough that I wanna smoke again but also stoned enough to not wanna drive anywhere
I apparently got up in the middle of the night after fucking him and started looking for you under piles of his clothing
Even blacked out me knows not to sleep with socks on
Bacardi 151 is like a past nightmare I'm still curious about
not that i'm not about exploiting men for money
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