My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
We would have taken you home with us, but you were outside the bar measuring a randoms stream of piss by walking along side it... you said you were only at 32 feet and it still had a couple of grooves to hit.
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
I need to make a new year's resolution to only pee in toilets. And it needs to start happening before the new year.
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
My girlfriend is pregnant with her exs baby. 2014 just became the worst year
WE'RE MOVING TO IRELAND!!!! DON'T ASK QUESTIONS JUST BOOK THE DAMN FLIGHT!!!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
