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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
Can't imagine what could be worse than pet-naming your penis, but I'll let it go.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
I'm surprised I haven't crapped out a leprechaun, I'm so hungover
I walked into your room and you had fallen asleep smoking a cigarette. You just had the butt in your mouth with ash all over your face.
just had to get on my knees to snort an addy off the little sink at the daycare. teacher of the year!
"I'm not drinking any more tonight." As I dipped my quesadilla in a shot of tequila....then eats it
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
This has to be the weirdest conversation I've ever had sober and in the middle of the day before.
I lost the right to judge tonight
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Y'all let us switch shirts in the middle of 200 people....why did you let me get this drunk by noon?
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
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