Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
Wedsnesdays are always enlightening. Tonights revealation: One should not smoke from something taller than their person.
you know you've been in a long relationship when u start retiring sex toys
I'm so used to throwing up its no longer a game of hanging over the toilet. Now it's just 'stand up, aim for the toilet, do my thing' then walk out
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
mom just asked if we are going to need more kaluha as she pulls 5 out of the cupboard. this xmas might kill me
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
Randomize
