you hand the children out the window. i'll pour the drinks.
the women in the ladies room did not appreciate my innovation of turning a sink into a urinal
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
All i remember is people cheering me on to drink faster than the dog, out of the dog's bowl. I just couldn't stop.
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
i feel sorry that you can never enjoy the feeling of shaved balls
I feel awful
Physically or morally
Physically. The only immoral thing I did was steal money from strippers while they gave me lapdances.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
He said I showed up in just my underwear and a bunch of towels I stole from the party I was at.
He's on the floor in just a Burberry tie. All my girl parts just tapped out.
Is this a Beer, Vodka or Whiskey kind of problem solving night? It's imperative I stock accordingly.
Questions like that are why I love you.
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
