i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
There are the 2 BIGGEST tools by me-- at our table. I hate them. But they're not ugly and I may make out with them later. And hate myself. Definitely hate myself.
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
he drove an hour to get eggs with me not even a blow job, just eggs.
No. I want to vom filet mignon and ziti bits everywhere and my body feels like I ran a cock triathalon. I feel less triumphant and more like death.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
for some reason leaving your socks onmakes it less meaningful.
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I just wanna know if were done hooking up so I know of that condom he left in my top drawer is fair game
Randomize
