They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
And then I interrupted the father of the groom, to ask if she was "ballet or pole" in the middle of his story about his niece, the dancer.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I suppose drinking a cosmo at lunch alone can't look good but I mean... sometimes it's just necessary
He pulled a potato out of his bag in the library. A WHOLE FRIGGIN POTATO. He ate it like it was an apple and waved at the librarian as she stared at him.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
I think if I set up a series of baby gates up the stairs each one more difficult to undo then the last that should be able to stop your drunk vagina.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
She was way too drunk so I dropped her off at her house and smoked a huge blunt with her mom.
Listening to The Little Mermaid soundtrack should cure my drunkeness right?
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
I want to disappear from this job like a fart in the wind.💨
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