oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
I can practically hear my vag and my conscience fighting.
I also referred to her clitorous as her "vagina dot" last night...probably going to be dumped soon.
malibu coconut giveth, and malibu coconut taketh away
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
i smell like vinegar and tequila i can feel the old people behind me judging
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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