dats a huuuuuge bitch!
who is this????
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
It's really awkward to greet the pastor when I know I've licked chocolate syrup off his daughter's chest.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I just want to make mistakes. Like stds that go away with antibiotics mistakes.
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
