Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
FYI, if you pee in my bed (or even let R___ and E___ sleep in it), I will fart loudly during your wedding vows. Trust.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Is she bent over a couch yet or did daylight savings time throw off her usual schedule?
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
our conversations pretty much only consist of the phrase 'fuck you'. and the sex is fantastic. we've got a great thing going here.
Nothing like a marijuana chart of usage in each country to make me understand math.
In the UK. Bar special, every drink costs a pound. I'm two shots away from being deported. God save the queen.
If throwing a bottle across the bar, hitting a skank in the head and not getting caught was an Olympic event, you'd bring merica the gold every time
I wanna come do a blessing for your apartment. And by that I mean I want to drink a lot of whiskey and watch ancient aliens in your apartment
dropping lines from Workaholics has slowly become my icebreaker when hitting on girls. who would have thought "lets get weird" would cause girls to actually get weird
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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