google image searching george stephanopoulos at 1 AM on a saturday night...once again
i feel like a lion cub that has been breast fed for years, and mom has left, and now i have to learn how to hunt on my own
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
I think not having bongs in close range is good for my academia
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
I had lunch with him today and quietly mourned his wasted good looks on such a disappointing set of genitals.
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
